Category Archives: Ableism

Six Things I’ve Learned From Dealing With Chronic Pain

Six Things I’ve Learned From Dealing With Chronic Pain

As I have written about in many locations around the web (including this site), I have chronic pain and fatigue caused by a condition called fibromyalgia. I started experiencing symptoms at 20, was diagnosed at 21, and in the eight years since my diagnosis have learned some things that may or may not prove useful to both other people with chronic pain and/or health conditions, and “healthy” people as well. The following is less about what having this condition is like on a daily basis (please see my xoJane article linked above for more on those aspects), and more about (insert triumphant violin swells here) WHAT I’VE LEARNED from having a debilitating illness that I will have for the rest of my life:

Sometimes a “positive attitude” is not the best course–try to aim for a realistic attitude instead. I know that maintaining a “positive attitude” is all the rage these days, but for some people it is simply not a great choice. There is no faster way to make yourself feel bad about having “negative” thoughts/energy/whatever than to try to actively banish these thoughts by trying to “think positively” instead of, y’know, dealing with those negative feelings. Bad feelings are a part of life, and they need to be dealt with so you don’t end up making yourself feel worse by trying to wish them away. This is why I try to cultivate a realistic attitude–I have both good days and bad days when it comes to pain and fatigue, and I can acknowledge and work with that instead of stuffing any negative feelings down under the guise of being POSITIVE all of the time.

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Accessibility in Utopia

In its simplest form, accessibility is usually defined as changes to the built environment designed to enable full participation by and inclusion of disabled people . Ramps and grab bars are common examples, with accessibility also extending to the presentation of materials in multiple formats to meet varying needs. Braille and sign language, for example, are provided for blind and vision-impaired people as well as D/deaf and hard of hearing people respectively. Likewise, accessibility can include modification of materials and curricula to accommodate disabled students, the provision of quiet rooms at conferences for autistic attendees, and other measures intended to make the environment more pleasant and functional for people with cognitive, intellectual, and developmental impairments.

These are measures that I term “physical access” both in my work and for the purpose of this essay. They are all intended to create more welcoming environments, and in some cases are required by law; the Americans with Disabilities Act (ADA) in the United States, for example, has stringent requirements for new public construction mandating features like ramps and accessible bathrooms in order to ensure equal access for disabled people. Yet, over 20 years after the passage of the ADA, compliance rates are still extremely low.

The fact that a law had to be passed in the first place is an illustration of ableism and how it functions in society: that people don’t think disabled people should automatically have access to all the same public spaces nondisabled people do is striking. And the surprise at the amount of agitation from disability activists on the subject is notable as well, with mainstream society behaving as though this is something new. The disability rights movement has been active for over 100 years, lobbying for the rights of disabled factory workers in the Industrial Revolution, returning soldiers in the First and Second World Wars, and more. Disabled organizers participated in the upsurge of civil disobedience and protests during the Civil Rights Movement, and fought hard for the passage of the ADA and similar legislation as well as court verdicts like Olmstead versus L.C. . Their fight has always been one for full access and inclusion.

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On Being Crazy and Brave While Dating

I am a multiply disabled gay dude with lefty-queer feminist politics living in San Francisco. Last year, I made the decision to put my health (my mental health in particular) first. That meant ending a long relationship that had come to an extremely unhealthy place. It was the hardest decision I had made thus far. Before I began my road to recovery, I embraced my single life with vigor: I partied, I was ecstatic, I was charismatic, I dated several people at one time, I didn’t hold my liquor, I was high as a kite, I had uneventful encounters with men, led men on, I smoked cigarettes like I was born with one in my hand–and I knew, fun as all of this was, that the gig wasn’t going to last much longer.

While I was highly aware of what I was doing during this period and have no regrets whatsoever, I wasn’t putting my health first. I needed to come to a stable place in my life after all the noise and drama of the previous four years since my diagnosis. In order to do so, I made the tough decision to pull out of the bar scene for a while. Being single and gay in the city dovetails with being in a bar or club. Fun as the scene is, my path to recovery butted heads with meeting potential paramours in loud, sweaty bars. I chose to be alone and invested time in friendships and my work. I was never a heavy drinker, but drinking and staying out until 2 AM was no longer an option for me. Doing so would not give me the steady sleep pattern that I now know I need in order to control my mental stability. But that was how I met men in order to go out with them–perhaps that is how many of us meet potential paramours. It isn’t an option for me anymore, however, and I am more than okay with that. Tempting as it can be, I am no longer up for a lost weekend. It was hard to pull back from all that fabulous wild abandon, but once I found my way to health, good things happened. I am now published, which is something I thought would not happen for a long time.

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Drawing Out Whiteness and Disability: Part 4

Previous installments: 1, 2, and 3.

Accessibility note: The image descriptions for this series, since they are very long, can be found under the image .jpgs in each installment, rather than in the alt-text field. 

Click “Read More” to read part 4 of this comic series; click the images to fully enlarge.

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Drawing Out Whiteness and Disability: Part 3

Previous installments: part 1; part 2.

Accessibility note: The image descriptions for this series, since they are very long, can be found under the image .jpgs in each installment, rather than in the alt-text field. 

Click “Read More” to read part 3 of this comic series; click the images to fully enlarge.

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Drawing Out Whiteness and Disability: Part 2

Previously: Part 1.

Accessibility note: The image descriptions for this series, since they are very long, can be found under the image .jpgs in each installment, rather than in the alt-text field. 

Click “Read More” to read part 2 of this comic series; click the images to fully enlarge.

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Drawing Out Whiteness and Disability: Introductory remarks and part 1

Accessibility note: The image descriptions for this series, since they are very long, can be found under the image .jpgs in each installment, rather than in the alt-text field. 

Introductory remarks: I completed the following multi-part, miniature graphic work on whiteness, white privilege and physical (dis)ability in 2010 as part of a final assignment for an anthropology class on the construction of race and ethnicity–and, old as it is, I’ve decided to share the entire work on Disability Intersections for what I hope are fairly obvious reasons. I’m not a professional artist by any stretch of the imagination, but I believe very strongly in both the accessibility of graphic work as a tool for anti-oppression work, and how graphic work can allow certain things to be conveyed that cannot always be conveyed in writing–particularly academic writing.

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“We cannot talk about mental health without talking about prisons”: A Conversation with Melody Moezzi

Human rights activist, attorney, writer, Iranian American, and Muslim American feminist: Melody Moezzi is all of these. She is the award-winning author of War on Error: Real Stories of American Muslims and published her memoir Haldol and Hyacinths: A Bipolar Life last September. She also blogs for the Huffington Post, Ms., and BP Magazine and has provided commentary for CNN, NPR, and BBC, among others. Her memoir is a frank account of her journey with bipolar disorder, her times in and out of mental health care facilities, as well as her life as an Iranian-American woman in Middle America and the South. Written with grace and often hilarious, Moezzi’s book fills a gap in mental illness memoirs, in that is told from her perspective as a Muslim American feminist activist and attorney.

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Misunderstanding the Mind/Body Connection

Many people with chronic health conditions, chronic pain, and/or mental health conditions are well aware that the mind can influence how the body feels on both acute and more long-term levels. A Google search for “chronic pain and depression” brings up around 42 million results; it’s not surprising that mental health concerns are a problem when it comes to chronic physical health problems, whether mental health issues precede chronic illness or spring up long after a person has been dealing with chronic pain and illness. In many cases, mental health issues and chronic illness/pain affect each other, but for those who have both, it’s not so much a chicken-or-egg problem of “which came first?” rather than trying to deal with and manage each issue on an ongoing basis.

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Just Making Conversation

An odd thing happens to me–at least once every few months–when I go out in public. It’s been happening since I was a teenager, and my most “visible” disability back then was a pronounced limp on my left side. Strangers seem very eager to try to engage me in conversation about the fact that I have a limp, or (more recently) that I use a cane.

I’ll be going about my day and/or doing things that lots of people do–running errands, going to see friends, going out for lunch–and, like the worst clock ever, on some days the annoying alarm of someone being concerned or just curious goes off:

“You have a limp!”

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